Listing all 98 major trophies won by players who have left Spurs empty

You know what's funny? That Spurs never win anything. It is a never-ending seam of rich comedy content.

Whether that's from brands as diverse as Dulux paint and Domino's pizza raking in the guffaws and sweet, sweet likes on the socials, or us taking the piss, it's absolutely never not funny.

But as trophy-dodging banterfrauds Spurs, who haven't won anything since 2008 or somesuch, are at last forced out of their squatters’ spot in the top six (to be righteously replaced by Newcastle and the Bestest Sportswashed Fans in the Whole Wide World, who are Back Where They Belong and whose own rich history of trophy-laden success must not be mentioned ever) we’ve already looked at those clever loophole-locating players who still managed to win a pot or two while technically remaining Tottenham-employed footballers. There is an even better way, though: leave the club altogether.

In many, many cases that leads to trophies. In some cases, a great many trophies. Not always; some players are simply too powerfully infected with the Spurs. Take Jan Vertonghen for instance. Doubly cursed by being both Extremely Spurs and a key member of Belgium's own international pot-avoiding Golden Generation, he has been entirely unable t0 add a single trophy to his collection since leaving the club, despite being obviously very good at football and spending his post-Spurs years at such traditional silverware-hoarding powerhouses as Benfica (85 major trophies) and Anderlecht (64 major trophies).

But for most, leaving Spurs is all it takes to cure that trophy curse. Just look at the below, who have all won very important things from Champions Leagues to Canadian Cups since playing their own part, small or large, in Spurs’ drought. Rules are simple enough: any first-tier trophy from any country plus continental and global club titles count but players who won the 2008 Carling Cup or were even just at the club at the time are excluded. This is only for the Jonahs.

Roman Pavlyuchenko – 1Left: February 2012Won: 2015 Russian Cup (Lokomotiv Moscow)

Scored some memorable Spurs goals, most famously getting on the end of one of Gareth Bale's crosses in the Maicon evisceration. Silverware only came with his return to Russia, though.

Steven Pienaar – 1Left: July 2012Won: 2018 South African Cup (Bidvest Wits FC)

Spending your English top-flight career with Spurs and Everton (last major trophy: 1995) suggests a man uninterested in the gaudy frippery of trinkets and baubles. Like Pavlyuchenko, a return to his homeland brought success.

Rafael van der Vaart – 1Left: August 2012Won: 2017/18 Danish Superliga (FC Midtjylland)

Van der Vaart is a gifted trophy-avoider, managing somehow to spend two full years at Real Madrid with only a single Supercopa to show for it. He was thus fully Spurs before he even joined in a deadline-busting coup that was 13 years ago now and yet still has every single Spurs fan desperately thinking ‘something might still happen’ two minutes before the window shuts twice a year, every year. It never does. The Dutchman did at least manage one Danish success in the post-Spurs years.

Etienne Capoue – 1Left: July 2015Won: Europa League 2020/21 (Villarreal)

Among those to pull Man United's pants down so spectacularly, alongside a then on-loan Juan Foyth. It's practically Spurs’ trophy, this one.

Kieran Trippier – 1Left: July 2019Won: La Liga 2020/21 (Atletico Madrid)

And pretty likely now to win more things before Spurs, having become a key cog in the Newcastle revolution.

Fernando Llorente – 1Left: September 2019Won: Coppa Italia 2019/20 (Napoli)

A weirdly significant and handsome figure in the inherently weird 2019 Champions League run, he handsomely got his hands on the Coppa Italia a year later.

Victor Wanyama – 1Left: March 2020Won: Canadian Championship 2021 (CF Montreal)

Two fun facts about the Canadian Championship. One, it is actually a cup competition not a championship. Two, the 2021 final won by Wanyama's CF Montreal was actually played before the Covid-delayed 2020 final. Which, pleasingly, means 2019 winners Montreal went into the 2021 final as holders against Toronto, who won the 2020 title six months later.

Erik Lamela – 1Left: July 2021Won: Europa League 2022/23 (Sevilla)

Given the way he out-shithoused Mourinho in the final, leaving the former Spurs boss angry, confused and swearing in a car park, this is perhaps the one post-Spurs success that Spurs fans can truly and thoroughly enjoy as one of their own.

Bongani Khumalo – 2Left: July 2015Won: South African Premier Soccer League 2016/17 and South African Cup 2017/18 (Bidvest Wits FC)

Played not one single first-team game for Spurs in four-and-a-half years, but did rack up plenty of loan moves.

Christian Eriksen – 2Left: January 2020Won: Serie A 2020/21 (Inter), Carabao Cup 2022/23 (Manchester United)

But not the FA Cup after a distinctly non-vintage display against City at Wembley.

Clint Dempsey – 3Left: August 2013Won: Supporters’ Shield 2014, US Open Cup 2014, MLS Cup 2016 (Seattle Sounders)

Always enjoyed the MLS Supporters’ Shield. Sounds like a player of the year award, but isn't. It's for the team with the best regular season record in MLS. Or, as almost all other footballing cultures would understand it, the ‘league champions’.

Georges-Kevin Nkoudou – 3Left: August 2019Won: Turkish Super Lig 2020/21, Turkish Cup 2020/21, Turkish Super Cup 2021 (Besiktas)

Rather neatly, Nkoudou scored eight goals in 32 Super Lig appearances in the 2020/21 title-winning season and has scored four goals from 16 appearances in each of the two subsequent seasons. Alas, he is now out of contract and thus we are to be denied the chance to see him score two goals from eight appearances in each of the next four seasons.

Toby Alderweireld – 3Left: July 2021Won Emir of Qatar Cup 2022 (Al-Duhail), Belgian Pro League 2022/23, Belgian Cup 2022/23 (Antwerp)

Returned to Belgium to play for hometown club Antwerp and casually delivered their first title since 1957 (a longer wait even than Tottenham's) via a 25-yard shitpinger of a 95th-minute final-day equaliser to break Genk's hearts. Just a genuinely stunning moment. AlderweirELDDDDDDD > AguerOOOOOOO

Cameron Carter-Vickers – 3Left: July 2022Won: Scottish Premiership 2022/23, Scottish Cup 2022/23, Scottish League Cup 2022/23 (Celtic)

Having won the league and League Cup while on loan in Glasgow, promptly went one better by winning the lot after making the move permanent. Is thus one of two former Spurs players to be involved in all Big Ange Postecoglou's five Celtic trophies. Be fun if he brings Carter-Vickers and Joe Hart back with him, wouldn't it? Spurs do need a goalkeeper and a centre-back.

Benjamin Stambouli – 5Left: July 2015Won: Ligue 1 2015/16, Coupe de France 2015/16, Coupe de la Ligue 2015/16, Trophee des Champions 2015, 2o16 (PSG)

Fair play, if you’re going to snag yourself an inexplicable 12 months at PSG after an entirely forgettable year at Spurs then you might as well win everything in sight before you get rumbled and sold on to Schalke.

Vincent Janssen – 5Left: July 2019Won: Liga MX: Apertura 2019, Copa MX 2019/20, CONCACAF Champions League 2021 (Monterrey), Belgian Pro League 2022/23, Belgian Cup 2022/23 (Antwerp)

Among the more conspicuous flops of those signed for the impossible ‘striker who has to watch Harry Kane play all the games’ gig, Janssen has enjoyed conspicuous success on an eclectic post-Spurs journey, including a front-row seat for Alderweireld's nonsense at the weekend.

Joe Hart – 5Left August 2021Won: Scottish Premiership 2021/22, 2022/23, Scottish Cup 2022/23, Scottish League Cup 2021/22, 2022/2023 (Celtic)

A key member of Postecoglou's all-conquering Celtic after being unceremoniously told he was surplus to Spurs requirements by Nuno Espirito Santo, which turned out to be quite the break. We’re slightly surprised and disappointed the lazy rumours linking him with a return to Spurs alongside Big Ange haven't already started to be honest.

Vedran Corluka – 6Left: July 2012Won: Russian Premier League 2017/2018, Russian Cup 2014/15, 2016/17, 2018/19, 2020/21, Russian Super Cup 2019 (Lokomotiv Moscow)

We think about Corluka a lot, specifically about the way he left Manchester City on quite literally the day Manchester City changed forever in 2008, joining Spurs just a few short months after what remains their last trophy. City have won 19 trophies since then, with a chance to round that up to a neat 20 with the big one at the weekend. Corluka does at least have plenty of pots and pans from his time in Russia to go with his 2009 League Cup runners-up medal from Spurs.

Hossam Ghaly – 8Left: January 2009Won: Egyptian Premier League 2010/11, 2015/16, 2016/17, 2017/18, Egypt Cup 2016/17, Egyptian Super Cup 2010/11, 2014/15, 2015/16 (Al Ahly)

Gets in on a technicality: he was a Spurs player during the 2008 Carling Cup win, but was at the time on loan at Derby. That’ll do for us, because it's funny to remember that time he threw his shirt isn't it? Also won a whole bunch of stuff after returning to Egypt.

Paulinho – 9Left: July 2015Won: AFC Champions League 2015, Chinese Super League 2015, 2016, 2019, Chinese FA Cup 2016, Chinese FA Super Cup 2016, 2017 (Guangzhou Evergrande), La Liga 2017/18, Copa del Rey 2017/18 (Barcelona)

A genuinely baffling career path providing one of the very best ‘Senior career’ sidebars Wikipedia has to offer. Almost the only part of it that makes any kind of sense is ‘two trophyless years at Spurs’.

Kyle Walker – 13Left: July 2017Won: Premier League 2017/18, 2018/19, 2020/21, 2021/22, 2022/23, FA Cup 2018/19, 2020/23, League Cup 2017/18, 2018/19, 2019/20, 2020/21, Community Shield 2019, 2020 (Manchester City)

Probably be 14 in a few days’ time as well. His £50m move to Manchester City back in 2017 was widely heralded as one of those ‘good news for everyone’ transfers. But mainly for Manchester City and Kyle Walker, it turned out.

Luka Modric – 23Left: August 2012Won: Champions League 2013/14, 2015/16, 2016/17, 2017/18, 2021/22, FIFA Club World Cup 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2023, La Liga 2016/17, 219/020, 2021/22, Copa del Rey 2013/14, 2022/23, UEFA Supercup 2014, 2016, 2017, 2022, Supercopa de Espana 2012, 2017, 2019/20, 2021/22 (Real Madrid)

Yeah, the bloke who beat Alex Song to the worst La Liga signing of 2012 has done all right in the end.